It’s true. Sex is a lot like air; you don’t realize how desperately you need it until you aren’t getting any.
Maybe it’s worse for guys than for girls. All I know is that when I’m in a relationship and getting sex & cuddles regularly, I don’t “crave” it the same way or feel a need to talk about it as much. I’ve known very few women that scream or fuss nearly as badly as men when going through periods of sexual drought.
Other guys I’ve talked to seem to have a similar issue to me. How do they cope with it? They get a woman to sleep with them. So how do they do it?
o.o No, really, I’m asking. How do they do it? Because I haven’t got a fucking clue. If I knew that, I wouldn’t be frustrated to the point where it feels like my junk is trying to rebel and run to the next province, leaving me behind to wonder why my pants are so loose. Heck, even some of the women I’ve bitched to say the same thing. “Well, just go pick some woman up and bang her.” Right. Like its as easy as going to the grocery store and picking up a box of cereal.
“Well, go clubbing.” You’re joking, right? If THAT worked, then, as before, I wouldn’t be bitching or this frustrated. I know jack shit about picking up women at clubs. When I first get there, their body language and glances tell me “Who the fuck do you think you are, asshole?“. Later in the evening, they’re ignoring me completely due to intoxication or grind-humping 3 or 4 other guys that they’ve been grind-humping for the previous hour. “Just go up to one you think is hot and grind against her.” Hell no, I’ve seen how that plays out waaaaaay too often; guy ends up very quickly having a bouncer talk to him at the least, IF he’s lucky. Add to that the fact that, apparently, I dance like an “E-tard”, and getting women in an overcrowded shitty club to come home with me for a night of passion is harder than trying to get a cat to learn electric guitar.
One friend in Australia actually had the gall to say “Just call up a friend or a fuck buddy” as if I had them just sitting around waiting for me to call. OR that people here all had casual sex as though it was normal. Now I’m wondering if she’s living in a sealed hippy free-love habitation somewhere. I’ve NEVER had just a fuck buddy. I’ve had female friends that have them, but a guy friend with fuck buddies is rare, and even then the fuck-buddies tend to feel it’s actually an exclusive arrangement rather than open to new “customers”.
The more people say “It’s easy”, the more I wanna smack their smug faces off. Oh, please. If it was that easy, I wouldn’t be bitching, would I? If it’s so easy, YOU get a girl to come over and fuck me well. I’ve tried one night stands a couple times. They didn’t end well at all because, apparently, sex with me makes women confuse the concept of a “one-night stand” with “a relationship”. Which then makes things fucking hard when a man is TRYING to maintain at least some kind of reputation as a “gentleman”.
“Just whack off to porn, then.” That’s where it’s less a “them” problem as a “me” problem. Porn gets really boring for me, really fast. Not because I get de-sensitized and need more and more grotesque or fetishist porn; I still enjoy vanilla to light kink the most. It’s because I find I need someone to be getting off on ME or wanting ME. Watching other people getting each other off bores me. Have a woman calling out for me and getting herself off because she wants ME, and I pop like a cheap water balloon getting overfilled on the faucet. Kim had me wrapped around her finger just by begging me to leave my “mark” deep inside her, and wanting to hold it inside her for things like grocery shopping. I admit, I would spring a leak just from the thought of a man coming up close to her while shopping, hoping to get in her pants, and somehow catching a whiff of “me” still inside her, a smirk finding its way to her face as he turned and walked away, dejected that she was claimed…
So does this mean I absolutely suck at picking up or hitting on women? Not at all. I just suck at picking up women in clubs or meeting women open-minded enough to be cool with just being casual fuck-buddies. Online, I seem to be able to pick up women fairly easily when I put in a bit of effort. That doesn’t do me any good, though. Most women I meet are in another city, at best; another continent at worst. I even have women I’ve been friends with for a few years now that would LOVE to fly here and not only fuck my brains out, but give a serious relationship (with lots of sex over the long term included) a decent shot. Not happening, though; they’re practically as broke as I am and in equally hard positions in their lives.
So where does that leave me? Gasping desperately for “breath” and trying to talk my junk into not running for the hills in rebellion.