You know one thing I hate? Arrogant Ignorance.
Ignorance is one thing. Ignorance can be corrected; it’s thinking you know something when you don’t. Sure, they can be pretty confident about what they think they know, but usually when you can prove they really don’t know, they accept it and move on. Arrogant Ignorance is when they have no clue what they’re talking about, and refuse to accept truth or fact no matter what. They’re right and nothing can prove them wrong, even proof.
Take one of my friends. Nice woman, great personality (mostly), lots to offer a man, we get along great. There’s just 3 major flaws that cause almost all men to be quickly turned off about her. Well, ok, more ones that piss me off specifically. And it’s the combination of them that is my problem.
1) Her massively unhealthy weight issues. We’re talking MASSIVE. Morbidly Obese is putting it mildly. Not me being an ass & exagerating, I’m talking actual doctor diagnosis.
2) Her arrogant refusal to admit to why this would be such a huge issue for men even though she’s clearly smart enough to grasp the concepts.
3) Her constant and repetitive harassment of me, in the form of repeated (and I mean repeated a LOT) chat messages & phone calls bemoaning “oh, woe is me, why don’t men want me for me instead of either just friends or a fuck-toy? What’s wrong with me? It must be them, I’m perfect” combined with moaning just as much (and often in the same conversation) that she hates her weight & knows men have a serious issue with it & wishing she didn’t have it etc.
She has thyroid issues that cause her to gain weight. I get that. Big deal. A guy can let that go and still fall for her… IF she actually took care of herself the way she should. She’s allowed this weight gain problem to get WAY out of hand, however. She says she eats healthily, but I know for a fact she doesn’t eat nearly healthily enough; not if her thyroid issue is THAT bad. She also drinks, and drinks beer, which is not helping the problem. Now she’s (I’m guessing, of course) bordering on the bad side of 400lbs. And it’s not even a well worn 400lbs.; she looks (and feels, when I’ve hugged her) like someone stuck a bike pump up her but, pumped her full of air like an over-inflated tire, then let just enough air out so she barely wouldn’t explode. There are guys that do find this attractive; I’m not gonna guess at the statistics, though.
That alone is something a lot of guys could get past. What is the disgusting icing on her toxic cake is her being mentally & emotionally sick; her conflicted self-images of hating her weight, yet then turns around and says she’s “beautiful” and her weight “isn’t an issue” and men just use that as an excuse & don’t want a “good woman”. Actually, they do; she isn’t it nearly as much as she thinks she is. She let herself get to the place she is in by her own choice; she bloody well should be adult enough to take responsibility for it and the consequences, which includes turning men right off with both her weight and her arrogance about the whole situation.
She’s had guy after guy tell her they’re not really interested in getting serious, and men have been bluntly honest as to why. Apparently in her twisted little world, “bluntly honest” is when she’s like that to other people, but when they’re like that to her they’re”hurtful and spiteful people who are jealous of how awesome” she is. Guess what; it’s not her weight at all that most of these guys drop her because of.
I am sick to DEATH of her moaning and whining about the same damn pitty party over and over. Not just that she keeps moaning about the same thing, but that she keeps refusing to take responsibility for fixing it or see that the problem MIGHT BE really her; instead choosing to ask me over and over why guys don’t want to love her and that men are assholes because they want only women who will use and abuse them instead of a “good” woman. Well, maybe if she was actually a GOOD WOMAN instead of an ARROGANT BLIMP that might not be an issue. There’s big beautiful women and then there’s disgustingly obese & narcissistic masochists. Guess which category she’s falling into right now.
What she seems to not want to accept is the possibility that men are looking at her weight & subconsciously recognizing that it’s a physical manifestation of her lack of mental & emotional health; the baggage she has with her other than her physical weight. This woman is basically expecting men to all magically change their minds and sub-conscious or biological instincts just to save her the work of loosing some weight & getting mental/emotional therapy. Not gonna happen. Hey, toots, you wanna know how to get a good man who will want to be with you for more than a few weeks? Here’s how.
1) Get over yourself and realize that maybe all these guys are telling you that you’re arrogant, rude and emotionally unatractive BECAUSE YOU ARE and DO something about it! Stop assuming they want only abusive bitches when they date other women who don’t treat their men the exact way you believe they should. I’ve seen you be pretty emotionally abusive, yourself.
2) DO something about your weight other than moaning about it! If your thyroid issue is that bad, it means you have to watch your diet and exercise as closely as a severe diabetic needs to, or someone allergic to Gluten & Corn Syrup. Guys don’t mind a bit of extra weight; massive amounts of excessive weight that has become folds of straight body-fat deep enough to loose small pets between are disturbing and unattractive, however. You may be fine with your body (which could be just denial and/or laziness), but don’t expect most men to be fine with it, too. And just because you’re too lazy to even start to fix the weight problem you allowed to happen, that does not mean your body is fine, especially when in the same “paragraph” of conversation you both tell me you feel your hawt shit and then go right into moaning about how men don’t want you because you’re “fat”.
3) If you’re really so beautiful inside, then bloody well get used to the fact that until your outer beauty more closely resembles your inner beauty (and it’s a really big if, it doesn’t already, which it likely does) you better get used to the majority of guys either wanting to be only friends or fuck-toys, considering the women you’re “competing” against for their affections. Men don’t want a relationship with a woman who is as bloated and disgusting on the inside as she is on the outside. If you’re so beautiful inside, then prove it with your attitude & with working more on your outsides.
Just suck it up and get over the fact that the only one that’s preventing you from having a good, long-term relationship with a man is actually yourself.