Recently a friend of mine changed her Facebook relationship status from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’. Now, normally, this would be nothing big worth writing a whole rant blog about, and this in and of itself is not what I’m ranting on today. What I AM ranting on was one of the replies. One of her friends replied with:
good!! You’re young and you need to have fun without worrying about anyone else. These are the party years – enjoy 😉
Ok, since when did University become “the party years”? When I was a kid, “the party years” were high school. That’s how they were for my mom, too, as far as I understand; she was married & 21 when I was born. When you graduated high school, university age was considered the “figuring out your life & settling down” years. Now, the first 10 years after you’re out of high school are considered even more “party years.” This is part of a bigger issue.
We’ve lost all concept of what an “Adult” is. People are sexually maturing as early as 12 & 13 & kids are sexually active in general at younger & younger ages. They’re able to vote, hold a job, own a car, get their own credit cards, make their own decisions & be considered adults at 18 – 21, yet now people in general are expected to act more like stupid teenagers that have permission to drink & get high than they did in high school until they’re the ripe old age of 30?
What. The. Fuck. Is this shit.
This path doesn’t make a shit of sense. What have we become? Where did we go wrong? When did being an immature asshole become normal for that long?
I have my theories on the causes of this. I think that it’s partly an unexpected side-effect of society realizing that women must have equal rights to men. So many self-proclaimed “feminists” started crying foul every time men did what men had been taught for generations to do. I’m not talking about the misogynistic crap of women being housewives; I mean little things, like opening doors or flowers & chocolates. Men no longer had their place in society, and women who wanted to be housewives & had men that treated them with respect & as equals in the family unit were still attacked morally & emotionally at the least. Men were no longer allowed to be just the “breadwinners”. Being polite & gentlemanly became seen as misogynistic, even when it wasn’t. With the invention of birth control, we were no longer the sexual predators of the species; women could initiate as often & with whomever they wished. Men were smacked down for even trying to kindly support real equality, because many women claiming to be feminists fighting for equality have actually been fighting for women’s superiority. Big difference.
Men no longer know what their place is, and women are unsure where they want their place to be; this is causing everyone problems when it doesn’t have to. Men, because their clear place in society is now gone, have opted to devolve into arrogant children, refusing to grow up & be responsible. Women, in turn, have pulled the “if they get to, we get too, too” card. Equal rights and all. Overall, people are still demanding the rights of being an adult but not acting responsibly with those rights. Heck, teens are even demanding the rights when it comes to being sexually active, drinking, etc. but expecting to still get away with the rights of being a kid, too. Just because men’s & women’s old roles in society are gone & we’re learning that our place is where we want it does not mean we have to act like idiotic children where relationships etc. are concerned. Marriages are down, divorces are up, and unwed pregnancies/single motherhood are on the rise. There’s no excuse for this.
People keep trying to ask why so many things like this are happening, why society has “gone wrong”; I’ll tell you why – we’re acting like morons & not being responsible. We’re encouraging promiscuity & drunken partying in young adults that we should be encouraging a balance of parties & responsible behavior. When friends break up, our answer is the same bullshit that got us in trouble in high-school – go on a party & drinking binge. We’re encouraging serial monogamy instead of healthy, long-term relationships. I’m beginning to wonder if the homosexual community now has a higher number of healthy long-term romances than straight people. We used to console our friends & support taking some time to be single & get over the emotions of a break-up. Now, we encourage them to go have fun with a few other guys/girls now that they’re single again because “these are the party years!”
We only have ourselves and our stupidity as a society to blame for our current shit-hole of a society. You want to know why divorce is on the rise? It’s because not enough people are promoting or teaching WHY a long-term relationship is worth the effort, with the right person. We aren’t encouraging each other to find the right person, we’re encouraging each other to find Mr./Miss Right Now. We’re encouraging our children to be dating at younger & younger years, and teach “safe sex” more often than teaching the emotional connections we build from sex, regardless of religion.
College/University aged people these days have either abandoned what morals & self/mutual respect they’ve been taught, or were never taught it in the first place. To women, I say that yes sex is great; but you need to not be giving it up so easily to just any hawt guy who wants in your pants. Now, I’m not saying that you should not have sex until you’re married; just that I feel you should not give it to any man who doesn’t deserve it & work to earn your trust & affection. Guys, in turn, realize that the best way to get in a girls pants is by winning her heart; make the fucking effort. It’s worth it. To both sexes: stop making romance & sex a game of quantity; it should be a game of quality.
Romances forged online suffer pitfalls, too; people online are just as stupid. Don’t think that who you know them as online is everything to them IRL. You can never truly know someone until you know them in person. Don’t go abandoning everything to go across country to move in with someone you only know online, even if you’ve been “together” for a couple of years; you’ll learn they aren’t the perfect image you thought you had, and unless you’re both willing to work together to learn to work the problems out, you’re in for some heartache.
Oh, and never settle. I don’t care if you & they are contented together; if there are things you need emotionally & sexually from your partner, but they aren’t giving it, don’t get married to them until they show they can try. Within reason, of course. If you need them to be slashing your flesh with a razor as part of your fetish & they’re squeamish about blood, you don’t belong together or you need to be able to not need that fetish; though if you didn’t need it, it wouldn’t be a fetish. 😛
Overall, we’ve just stopped bothering to respect each other or teach kids that respect, and our relationships are showing. There’s no excuse for people in University just out of high school to be as immature as they are about dating & relationships. Sure, partying during those years is all well & good, but what does that have to do with sleeping around & hooking up with someone new every few months? Absolutely nothing. It’s teaching us nothing more than that relationships are disposable, and that whole concept is why this continent is full of assholes with broken hearts & single moms on welfare dealing with one or more kids from more than one dad.
We have only ourselves to blame for perpetuating it.