Ready your pitchforks, I’m talking about “gender identity”

You know what? I’m going to get into a bit of a controversial rant here that will likely piss people off at first, but I think that if you keep your mind open, you might find I make decent sense.

First: I believe there are only 2 genders – male and female.

Second: I believe “gender” is only physical anatomy, NOT sexual orientation or interests or etc.

Cue the hate posts, flaming, tar & feathers, and Crucifixion.

WAIT – before you start tying that noose around my neck, let me explain what I mean in more depth…

What I mean is there are actually no such things as “gender roles;” we made them all up. People all over talk about being gender fluid, about LGBTQ, about cross-dressing, bisexuality, transexuality, being born in the wrong body, etc. But let me posit a possibility – what if all the things that people talk about as “gender identity” don’t actually exist as any kind of gender? What if the whole concept of these things being “exclusive” to a specific “gender” is nothing more than psychological constructs arbitrarily created by society over thousands of years which (when you really think about it) makes them actually completely moot?

What if people rallying in protest against “typical gender roles” and pushing social boundaries by promoting flipping those gender roles or adding new gender roles, are actually not realizing that they’re feeding more into the problem and the lie – that gender roles exist at all in any form beyond concepts and assumptions?

What if instead of “gender identity,” people were just… people?

I once read a cute “joke” that was a conversation between a person on a fast-food drive-through intercom and a mother in her car. The fast-food worker asked the mom if she wanted the barbie toy or the hot wheels car. The mom said she wanted the girl toy. The fast food worker said “that’s great; do you want the barbie toy or the hot wheels car?” That kind of emphasizes what I’m talking about. There is no “girl’s toy” or “boy’s toy.” There are no “girl’s activities” or “boy’s activities.” Essentially, there’s male anatomy, and female anatomy. Everything else is fluff and personality.

What anatomy a person has, has no concrete bearing whatsoever on ANYTHING about a person’s personality, interests, hobbies, sexual orientation – nothing at all. Beyond the basic biological functionality, gender as people have been fighting over it does not actually exist. It’s fiction, made up. Men being emotional cripples who treat feelings as a weakness, women who like pastels and are expected to stay at home with the kids, men who like to be dressed up in a latex dog suit and put in a cage to be f*cked through the bars and fed kibble,  everything between and beyond – none of that has anything to do with “gender” or “orientation,” it’s just things we like and things we love and things we do and yes it’s who we are, but none of it is “male” or “female” or any of that.

Which brings me to my primary point – judging anyone based on what they want to call their gender identity, their sexual orientation/interests, hobbies, likes/dislikes, astrological sign, income, skin colour, height, innie or outie belly button, eye colour, etc. is insane because none of these things matter. There are no “boy’s toys” or “girl’s toys.” They are all equal and moot. And because gender doesn’t truly exist in that way, assigning a “gender identity” to things like sexual orientation or personality traits or hobbies and interests is meaningless. We are not these many different genders – WE ARE ALL JUST HUMANS. We don’t have to immediately be best friends with everyone; we just need to stop tearing other people down as inhuman just for not sharing the same sexual attraction in the things you do.

DraziPurpleGreen01

Judging or hating people based on “gender identity” is basically this. (kudos if you know the reference)

I say we need to tear down these boundaries we put around ourselves that people are calling “gender,” starting with the language we use. I’m not “straight,” that guy isn’t a “cross-dresser,” that girl isn’t “lesbian.” We’re all humans; I have an interest in the opposite sex, that person enjoys wearing dresses and fancy makeup, and that woman’s sexual orientation is none of your f’ing buisiness. If  a guy is into women and is getting hit on by another guy, don’t say “I’m straight;” say “I’m just not into guys.” Don’t separate yourself into another class of person, instead be open and honest about your interests. We’re all different, but we’re all the same species. Asking a person what their “gender” or “orientation” is, is as worthless today as asking them what their job is. Ask their interests, their passions; that tells you who a person is. The reason gender today has become such a muddled question is because people are realizing that no one is trapped in defined “gender roles,” yet instead of accepting that there are no roles, people try to create new ones.

The best way to fight against a destructive concept is to stop feeding into it by talking about it like it’s a real thing to be fought. Let’s follow he example of things like what Morgan Freeman said about Black History Month and Racism – the best way to stop racism is to stop talking about it. There are no homosexuals, no heterosexuals – there are humans. That’s it. Some men like women, some women like men, some men like men, some women like women, some women want to be men, some men want to be women, some want to be both, some want to be neither. It doesn’t matter; they’re all human, we all are born, we all grow, we all die. We’re all on this planet. We’re all in this together. You don’t have to share another person’s tastes or interests in order to respect them, help them, be friends with them. Start ignoring those society made boundaries by realizing they aren’t really there, they are figments of our imaginations, and only exist because we treat them like they do. Just treat each other like the human beings we all are. What bits we have between our thighs etc. has no bearing on whether you treat someone else  with respect like a human being.

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P.S.: Anyone who wants to blow up and say, “what about hermaphrodites, you insensitive prick?” So what about them? They have both male and female parts, and besides how it affects their medical health, who gives a crap? Let them be who they want to be – just like with everyone else. They’re human, I’m human, you’re human. They get to decide which organs they want to allow to develop, which to remove, and whether to even make that choice. Everything else is whatever we feel in our hearts and what we want to be; no one deserves to be judged on that, no matter what junk is in their downstairs. Judge actions which cause harm to themselves or others, but stop judging people and stop assigning prepackaged boxes to people’s personalities and interests.

P.P.S. And any of my fellow Christians out there who think it’s your job to rain harsh judgement on people who don’t have the same “sexual orientation” as you or follow what you believe “gender identity” should be, I’ve got some bad news for you – you are NOT God; that is not your job. God has already said how we are to deal with this kind of thing: respect them as humans, treat them the same way you would treat Jesus himself, and leave their “judgement” and any subsequent “punishment” to God; He will decide their fate Himself when they go up to see him. Jesus never forced His word or even salvation on anyone; He gave them the opportunity to chose for themselves, then left them to their choices, whether he agreed or not. Even the story of the money lenders that He chased off with a whip – He did not chase them to the ends of the Earth, He merely chased them from the temple itself then let them do as they would. You should do the same – you don’t have to let them be at your church (if you own the property, of course) or in your own home (if you really want to be a dick like that), but persecuting them down the street, assaulting them either physically or mentally, is simply WRONG. Denying them the same basic rights as you under the law is WRONG.

Late night thoughts while homeless and giving up hope

I’ve been homeless for going on a month now. It wasn’t because I haven’t had any money to rent a new place; it’s because there are no places that my mom and I can get together. She’s physically disabled and rewuires a walker to get around, and even uses a cane or crutches just to move around the house. Plus she has a cat she’s been with for about 13 years now. We’ve been looking since 6 weeks before we had to move out of that God-forsaken hellhole of an apartment, and everything we’ve tried to get has fallen through.

So for the time being, I’m dependent on the kindness of others just for survival. I’ve been crashing on my buddy Brian’s hide-a-bed, but I worry that my extended stay could get him in trouble with the landlord. I search every day for a new place to rent, as well as for a job I can handle long-term, but so far both those searches seem to be useless… I’m getting more and more stressed about just day to day survival; the more stressed I get, the less I can sleep, and the more I find myself running to Netflix and video games. And when I look up from the screen and realize how long I’ve been playing, I feel even shittier about myself and I haven’t been able to figure out why…

That is, until I realized something tonight. My OCD causes me issues when I have to deal with chaotic inconsistencies or if things are disorganized and out of control. Which is exactly what my whole life is right now… Homeless and couch-surfing, unemployed and unable to find a job that I can handle long-term and that will also actually hire me, I have no control whatsoever.

This is why I’m drawn to playing video games so much; it’s an organized and controlled envoronment, and I have more control of things inside a video game than I do in real life. And with my OCD being the way it is and as severe as it is, I NEED to be able to have control of my environment.

It’s same as the reasons why I could do very well in management, but not as a bottom-rung underling; I need to have a work environment that’s well organized in the right ways for me, and I need the authority to control that environment or adjust it my way when needed. At the bottom rung, I have no power or authority to even organize my environment, let alone make sure it’s kept that way. And the jobs that are willing to hire me are the kind that are so shitty that any co-workers I have don’t give a flying fuck about keeping anything organized for themselves, let alone for me.

So my life is a hugely disorganized mess; I’m severely OCD and triggered by disorganization, inconsistency, and powerlessness; which means just living each day the way my life is right now is making me unable to function and there’s nothing I can do about any of this… 😕