She loves (re: “hates”) being single

If a woman claims profusely that she prefers being alone and loves being single and has no interest in relationships, but her social media is filled with photos of herself showing off sexy poses and skimpy/suggestive outfits/shower photos, and on those posts she responds to half the men who reply to the pictures how sexy she is, calling those men “baby” or “handsome” and such (but she’s not at all in the modeling industry and isn’t trying to break into modeling whatsoever), and if she also often complains to men in private messages how lonesome she gets and how she misses sex or how boyfriends are assholes and being single makes her happier, then she’s lying – _mostly to herself._ She’s not happier being single, and she doesn’t prefer being alone; if she preferred being alone, she would not be trying to solicit the attentions of so many men by advertising so many provocative photos and taking the time to return attention to so many men.

Before you misunderstand, no she’s not simply being a slut.

She’s not happier being alone; she’s just making sure she can’t be hurt by someone she’s intimate with, by simply not being that intimate with anyone and not letting anyone close. She’s actually mostly just afraid of being in a relationship again and afraid of commitment being betrayed; she’s been hurt by someone, or several someones, and is terrified of getting involved and being hurt again, but at the same time longs for a relationship and the attention she gets from a boyfriend. She wants a man to make her feel attractive and adored, but is too afraid of commitment to let a man get close enough to her to fulfill those needs.

She’s not happier being single; she just thinks she’s protecting herself from being hurt again. Someone who is truly happy being single doesn’t need to post several pics every day to her personal social media that are extremely suggestive and provocatively erotic; one or two every week or so and between photos of other stuff she enjoys is enough. Someone who’s happy being single doesn’t need to call half the dozens of guys who comment on her pictures (and who don’t know her personally IRL) “baby” or “handsome.” Someone who’s happy being single doesn’t need to go on a bout every few days with random strangers over PMs telling them how she wants to be held then immediately bragging how much happier she is being single. Preventing the possibility for heartache (ie staying single and avoiding relationships) does not automatically equal being happier. You can’t say you’re truly happy being single if all you’re really doing is preventing yourself from every risking being hurt again by a relationship. You can’t treat people and act like you’re longing for a romance, one  that sweeps you off your feet, while simultaneously sabotaging any and all possible chances for that romance to develop with anyone, and expect people to believe that you are honestly happy being single.

Love doesn’t hurt. Love doesn’t create heartache. Relationships don’t fail because they don’t love each other (anymore).

Being betrayed hurts. Trusting someone and having that trust broken creates heartache. Relationships fail because of what they do/don’t do, not merely because of how much or little they love each other.

 

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