Cybersex – The Digital “Expressway To Your Heart”?

 

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What is cyber-sex? Also known as “cyber”, “cybering”, Erotic Role Play (ERP), “erping”, and several other words or phrases. Is it sex? Is it just a form of multi-person erotica writing? Is it “a relationship”? Is it “cheating”? Can it be part of a long-distance romance? Can it START a long-distance romance? There’s been lots of documentaries on online romances started in or ended by meeting people in online games or communities; none have ever quite hit on precisely my experiences with it.

So now you’re gonna get my take on the whole mess 😛

Late-Night Terrors of an Empty Bed

I can’t sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well for months. I try to go to bed, but my mind has a thought that I have to act on right now, even if all it is is typing myself a note for the morning.

Those notes have been getting longer and longer every night.

I try laying down, but my mind screams at me to get up and do something… to be constructive, to be useful; my bed is empty, there’s no one to wrap my arms around and keep warm or protect, so I’m not being useful. I try wrapping my arms around the long body-pillow I have… and my mind screams at me more, saying “THIS ISN’T A REAL WOMAN! YOU AREN’T HOLDING SOMETHING REAL! THIS ISN’T REAL! GET UP! GET UP AND DO SOMETHING REAL!” So I spend hours

Arrogant Ignorance Pt. 1

You know one thing I hate? Arrogant Ignorance.

Ignorance is one thing. Ignorance can be corrected; it’s thinking you know something when you don’t. Sure, they can be pretty confident about what they think they know, but usually when you can prove they really don’t know, they accept it and move on. Arrogant Ignorance is when they have no clue what they’re talking about, and refuse to accept truth or fact no matter what. They’re right and nothing can prove them wrong, even proof.

Take one of my friends

Sex = Air

It’s true. Sex is a lot like air; you don’t realize how desperately you need it until you aren’t getting any.

Maybe it’s worse for guys than for girls. All I know is that when I’m in a relationship and getting sex & cuddles regularly, I don’t “crave” it the same way or feel a need to talk about it as much. I’ve known very few women that scream or fuss nearly as badly as men when going through periods of sexual drought.

Other guys I’ve talked to seem to have a similar issue to me. How do they cope with it? They get a woman to sleep with them. So how do they do it?

Protected: Gentlemanly Behavior? A matter of opinion…

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Protected: An overly-angry letter that will never be sent about issues that will never be fixed and a reunion that will never happen…

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Idiots, Selfish Assholes, and Me

Originally Posted Sunday, October 17, 2010

I came to a realization these last couple days.

Over the years, I’ve been hurt, abused and mistreated by a lot of people I thought I could trust. I put trust in people that I shouldn’t have and I paid for that mistake time and time again. Relationships, friendships, family… same thing. I treated people as if they were already living the potential I could see within them. In return, people have used me emotionally, physically and financially or proven they’re idiots and can’t be bothered to be any better. Even people claiming to only want to be there for me and work at a serious relationship have proven they’re either lier’s or have no clue what they’re talking about, and I end up being the bad guy and/or emotionally broken & scarred. So, for now, to protect my heart and my mind, I’m forced to cope with this by viewing things in a new way.

There are 3 types of people in the world: Idiots, Selfish Assholes, and “people that use their brains“. So far, there are an incredibly small number of people I’ve met that falls into the “people that use their brains” category, but lots of people that fall into one or both of the other two. Frankly, I need to just assume people will fall into one or the other of the first two types until I see for myself they’re better than that.

I’m not holding my breath.

Late night grumbles

Originally Posted Monday, October 18, 2010

My brother just pisses me off. I know it shouldn’t matter to me, that people will see right through him and I won’t be judged on what he says or does, but I can’t help it. we share the same face; I can’t help but be angry with the way he drags himself and everyone else around him down. I can’t help but be furious with how he treats me & my mom, and even himself.

I hate how he makes such lame

I have no brother

Originally Posted Wednesday, November 17, 2010

About a week and a half ago, I went back over to the place my mom & I had been splitting and my brother had been taking over since he started crashing there. I was there to get the last of my furniture. The event started with my getting “hit” by some second-hand marijuana smoke on the city bus, then “hit” by more when I walked into the foyer of their apartment building. For those that don’t know me, marijuana and I don’t get along. At all. It does’t like me. I react very badly bio-chemically; even a few whiffs of second-hand marijuana smoke off of someones clothing causes me to suffer random uncontrollable rages and psychotic episodes. I tried to brush it off, thinking I’d be fine; get in, get the stuff, and be out. Duncan would be there with his truck in not too long, anyways.

Theories On War, God, Evil, Suffering, Coping and Self-Conditioning

Originally Posted Monday, December 13, 2010

These thoughts & theories are based on a few other theorized assumptions:

– There is a “God” of some kind, though I assume nothing aside from this “deity” being anything more than some kind of advanced “being” with an understanding of energy and the construction & manipulation of the universe thousands of years beyond our ability to comprehend.

– Everything is energy; including our “souls”.

– Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change form.

– Good and Evil exist, though the common understanding of what these concepts are in reality is limited.

ALL this, including the